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Table of Contents

Welcome to The Gasden Purchase!

Prologue

Chapter 1  Mike Gasden meets Tony Vargas - Tony gives Mike spelling, history, and other lessons - Unmarked helicopters whirr toward the desert

Chapter 2
A word from the Cornudo, AZ tourism bureau - Mike meets Linda Lloyd at the Cornudo Cafe - Unsavory secrets of the Cafe - An uneasy introduction to Catalina Eddy

Chapter 3
Tony expands and expounds upon Eddy's nefarious band, they stop at Dateland for shakes - Introducing Tony's menagerie of misfits - Mike remodels - A tale of Cornudo's homeless crisis - Mike's love problems, Tony's water problems

Chapter 4
The boys go to Tucson for Costco shopping and other urban delights -
A brief analysis of the history of human activity in the Gadsden, not Gasden Purchase - Tony gives Mike a scientific discussion on human sexuality - Post shopping spree at Striggys to satisfy all manner of human vices - Mike's Dad gives him "the talk" about his true ancestry - Rutting bipeds invade Mike's pickup, he cannot unsee it

Chapter 5
Tony befriends Rolf the coyote - Mike's telephone confession to Lisa - An evening at the Rosebud - Introducing Hal Owen and the low hanging fruit - Tony's arrest

Chapter 6
Mike wires Cornudo for Wi-Fi - The Gasden Motel opens for business - Lisa and her civil disobedience team slither into Cornudo - Tony crawls back too - Unrequited love - More menacing misfits in Tony's menagerie - Linda fills in some blanks in the Gasden map - Catalina Eddy and his goons crawl out of their hole again

Chapter 7
Lisa's goons trash the motel - Rolf goes hungry - Tony refuses to become Lisa's pet - Lady Justice defies the blindfold - Pancho Villa - Tony sneaks the protesters into the Trump rally - Trump pontificates on walls - Civil disobedience - Bricks is love

Chapter 8
Introducing Dustin Diesel, feared and revered Sheriff of Santa Cruz County - Incarcerated Mike and the Sheriff get chatty - Trump visits the Santa Cruz cell block, looking for the lost and found - Mike and the President-Elect dance in the dark

Chapter 9
Mike becomes a jailhouse hero - Tony confesses to Dustin Diesel as a missile thrower whistle blower - Mike is sprung, only to encounter Otis as his welcoming committee, which is just barely better than nothing

Chapter 10
A woman wakes up in a wahdi.  The tale of her Odyssey from the Syrian sands to the lines in the dirt of the Gadsden Purchase.

Chapter 11
Desperate dash for New Jersey - Showdown with wolves at the well - Death in a waadi - The Angel boy's flight

Chapter 12 The Origin of the Love Machine - Otis goes home - Mike's Declaration of Independence - Red on Yellow will kill a fellow? - A new creature crawls out of the brush

Chapter 13 Another run in with unsavory goons at the Cornudo Cafe - Mike and Tony debate the Little Fucker - Strange objects in the sky, on the ground

Chapter 14 Strange French Postcards - Mike goes back to school - Little Fucker becomes part of the scenery - An unexpected text message blows in on the desert breeze

Chapter 15
Little Fatwa puts the writing on the wall - Living large at Cornudo Country Club - The Bitch is back

Chapter 16
Lisa's soul-sucking reconquista - Sunglasses at night - Tony's fight with the flannel man - An unexpected shower partner - Mike is abandoned in the Gadsden Purchase

Chapter 17
A rude awakening - Ominous breaks in the peaceful monotony - Shitpaper run to Yuma, including forbidden food - Allah's revenge - The doc proves he knows his shit from Shighella - Unwelcome visitors sprout in the Motel parking lot

Chapter 18
Tony rapidly wears out his welcome across the length and breadth of the Gasden Purchase - The manhunt intensifies - Smith's Straits, Diesel's Dilemma - Evidence on high, or burro pubes?

Chapter 19
The Freedom Frontiersmen drop by the motel to let off a little steam - The clean-up is a bitch - The FF reappears and Mike storms about, fuming in his futility - A short visit from Hal Owen - Mike finally makes the acquaintance of the man in flannel

Chapter 20
Danny Valero crosses the DMZ of the Gasden Motel Parking Lot - Declaring war on Binkiland - An Angel's face in the darkness - The Freedom Frontiersmen check out - Selling Out? - Mike in Love?

Chapter 21
Smith shows up with a shadowy guest - Queens English, not the Queen's English, in the motel parking lot - An ornithological Earl at the door - Marisol arouses Mike from hibernation - Archaeological and other discoveries at the Gasden Inn

Chapter 22
Freedom Frontiersmen sing-along - Unlikely wall wreckers take action but leave Garbled graffiti - A short encounter with Hal Owen sends Catalina Eddy and the FF on a mission to find the kid

Chapter 23
Strange Birds on the desert - The Earl of Easely makes something other than an ornithological discovery - Marisol meets Little F, their lost souls meld - Mike reveals the truth, but has he fallen into the right hands?

Chapter 24
Mike and Marisol hook up in the critter room - Marisol reveals her naked truth - Danny reawakens another critter, Mike's dormant hacking bug

Chapter 25
Tony wakes up hungover, drunk and disorderly in the stain - Tony's last chance for true love in Amado - A decision to make in the wilderness leads to a reprise down memory lane with the FF

Chapter 26
Little Fucker gets informal terrorist training - Mike goes home, makes a disturbing confession to his Father - The history of Mike & the Herr's bad blood

Chapter 27
An uncertain welcome on Herr Mueller's doorstep - Brunehilde, warrior-princess, guards the passage - The story of Josef Mueller, Stuka Ace - The postcards deciphered - The Herr advises caution against the Valero clan - A sticky ending to the meeting

Chapter 28 Musings on Creosote - Marisol strikes a blow against blasphemy - New Jersey sister is a no-go - Danny delivers a new list - Vargas villified, then notified? - As the worm turns

Chapter 29
Love machine lassoed - Tony bushwhacked, then bent over - Sodomy circumvented - Halted, handcuffed, hauled away

Chapter 30
Solar reflections - Penile protestations - Marisol's mirage - Danny's demands denounced - A trouncing for the truth

Chapter 31
FF roadblock by the OK Corral - The Earl lifts the lid on the kid, races to warn Mike about the tyke - Deliberations on sequestration - Tony incarcerated again - the truth about the tarp - information for emancipation

Chapter 32
The time has come to cut und run - Mike decides to make for Mexico - Linda and Mike swap favors in lieu of bodily fluids - Max's medical emergency - A defiled disk drive hypnotizes Mike while the shadows lengthen and Eddy approaches

Chapter 33
Law enforcement armada descends upon the Gasden Motel - Eddy muses on muscle-bound beefcakes as he busts into the critter room - To kill or not to kill? - Chekhov´s gun - The serpent strikes - Fucker´s flight - A boy broods on the meaning of justice - Marisol to the motel, angel or enemy?

Chapter 34
Mike finds Eddy prostrate, poisoned and pained - Little Fucker lacking, Mike storms Danny´s den - Betrayal and bondage

Chapter 35
Diesel requisitions a Ranger -  Tony recounts Danny´s downfall - Disquieting Dash to the Denouement

Chapter 36
The tale of the Tamarisk - Convocation with the Cartel in the Salt Cedar Cathedral - Danny plays his Trump card

Chapter 37
Mike and Little F stifling in the storeroom - Bad porn beyond the green door - An unexpected explosion - Fleet flight into Egypt

Chapter 38
Tony and Dustin arrive at the already eroding Gasden Motel, they find Little Fucker's escape route but no kid, no Mike - Linda provides important clues - Double V Discoveries - A rush for the Roll Bridge - Dustin down, Tony takes off for the tamarisk alone

Chapter 39
Turmoil in the Tamarisk - Little F is not the Trump card - Tony trembles across the river - A de-gooning in the clearing - Can I get a hug?

Chapter 40
Group Hug - Heredity from the Herr? - Eternal sleep in the shade of the Cottonwood Tree - (Fakhir's??) vision - Gadsden gone for good

Epilogue

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Welcome to Gasden Purchase!

Table of Contents: The title is not a typo you read it right.  Although this is marginally a tale of The Gadsden Purchase it is mostly ...